Always
by Chibi Tenshi
Summary: A one-shot fic featuring my favourite RK couple, Kaoru and Kenshin, with dashes of sap. Enjoy! ^-^


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the RK characters.

Tenshi's notes: Minna! I felt all inspired after watching episode 66 of RK, and well this little idea of mine popped up. Unlike my other one-shot, Goodbyes, this one is ends happily. The sap in me is cheering, trust me. ^-^ Anyway, for obvious reasons, it won't entirely follow the RK storyline, but hey, that's what fanfics are for right? Dedications to Kat-chan (since I torment her with my huge RK ficcie all the time), Angel-chan for being the first to read it (encouraging me to post it and helping me with the title), Ivory-imouto for always trying to get me to laugh with her hentai reviews (write another chapter so I can return the favour! *giggles*), and the rest of my chans, imoutos, and reviewers. I'll shut up now. ^-^ Ja!

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****

Always

With another soft sigh, Kaoru struggled to concentrate on practicing. Ever since the engagement ring had been returned the rightful owner, she couldn't seem to help herself. All her happy dreams had seemed to evaporate right before her eyes as Kenshin had explained the situation. Though she understood, the disappointment that flooded her seemed to consume her soul. She realised that she had loved Kenshin a long time ago. The mere sight of those amethyst eyes filled her with an ache that she could never describe adequately. Each time she saw him playing with Ayame and Suzume, she could almost visualize him with their kids, with his beautiful hair, and gentle disposition. For all his past as the Hitokiri, and as much as she knew that Battousai was still a part of him, she knew that the rurouni would never allow anyone to harm anyone he loved. And she knew that he loved her. But just once, she wanted to hear him whisper those words.

The daydreams she used to have contained perfection and eternal happiness. In her dreams, she was also not the tomboy she was right now. In her dreams, she had soft hands, and lovely kimonos. In her dreams, she was female. And beautiful. 

She would often imagine what it would feel like to be with Kenshin, and how it would feel to be held in his arms lovingly. She could see the glitter of possessiveness in his eyes, rendering them dark purple, as he declared his love for her. She could see the ring flashing in the sunlight as he asked her to marry her. Her heart would pound in anticipation, watching him place that ring on her finger in slow motion. His face would move closer and closer until their lips touched, that hesitant first contact. Her blood would sing through her veins, and she could hear the thundering in her ears, pounding in sync with his heartbeat. 

In her dreams, anything was possible. It was too bad that reality had a habit of reminding you just how foolish you were. 

With a downward stroke of her bokken, she reminded herself that she was here to practice, and not to think about Kenshin. Despite the beautiful flowers that he had given to her as a belated birthday gift, he hadn't been around the dojo as often. In the mornings, he would disappear for a few hours at a time, returning only to complete his chores, and play with the two children. However, something was different about him. Even Suzume had asked questions about why Ken-nii was so tired. Whenever someone had tried to ask him anything, he just waved his hands in innocence, but she knew better. 

There was a connection that existed between them, a bond that tied them together. Just as he somehow could tell whenever she was in trouble, she knew when something was bothering him. He was lying about what he was doing. Iie. He didn't lie, but he was avoiding the subject. Day in day out, he would trudge his feet wearily back into the dojo. She wanted so badly to ask him what was going on, or if there was some sort of trouble going on. He had become withdrawn, keeping whatever secret it was. She knew that he wouldn't want to worry her. Since his encounter with Shisio in Kyoto, he had been reluctant to upset her. He knew how much it had cost her to let him go there, and she knew how he hated seeing her distressed about anything. 

Would he ever let anyone into his heart? 

All thoughts of practicing were all but forgotten as countless of memories washed through her. Each moment with Kenshin was so elusive, filled with bittersweet relish. One of the last times she treasured was the flowers he had given her right after the engagement ring fiasco. She had buried her nose in the wonderful scent and she had dried them since, the lingering fragrance haunting the air, just as he had with her soul. Using a slew of curses that she had heard Sanosuke utter once, she slung her bokken back to its resting spot before making her way back to the dojo. Not only was she pining for some guy who lived right in her home, who by all means showed NO sign of ever revealing his feelings for her, she was going to end up with two other grouchy men for delaying their meal. 

She had barely gotten past the doors when an annoying voice yelled out. 

"Where have you been, busu? We've been waiting!" 

She nearly made a face at Yahiko. 

"Oi, jou-chan. Hurry up, damnit. We're starving, but *SOMEONE* wouldn't let us eat until you came back," Sanosuke growled out. 

"Gomen. I was practicing and I lost track of time." At the look of their astonished expressions, she nearly laughed, forgetting her miseries temporarily. 

Hyacinth eyes appeared out of nowhere as if in response to her thoughts, and she heard the shuffle of his hakama just moments before he showed up. 

"Kaoru-dono?"

She gritted her teeth, partly in annoyance, mostly in hurt. The honourific was yet another way for him to keep his distance from her. It would never change. She would die a lonely old woman before he ever said anything to her. The sadness flooded her soul and suddenly, she felt overwhelmed, the onslaught of tears threatening to turn her into a fool in front of their eyes. She couldn't have that happen. 

"Oi, busu!! Are you going to let us eat?"

"Why don't you guys go ahead? I'm not hungry today. I think I'll just rest in my room. Sumimasen," she called out, bowing her head slightly. Her feet dragged beneath, and she didn't see the look of worry that crossed their eyes, nor the strange expression upon one of their faces. 

**********

She wanted to drown in her miseries. She should be content that she had a family around her once again. For all that they bickered and fought, she felt loved unconditionally by all of them. She would never be alone, thanks to all of them. She had so much to be grateful for, so why was she being such a selfish brat at the moment? Because she had tasted what it was like to have more, she now craved it with every fiber of her being. She needed Kenshin, just as he needed her. She didn't miss how weary he had been since his return to Tokyo, and the near misses with death he had had. With a sob, she choked back her tears, not wanting to cry anymore. She believed in him, and that he would always return to her. He had always kept his promises to her. But what if… like Megumi said… what if his body just gave up? What had he gotten himself into? Burying her face in her hands, her body shook with the force of trying to contain her cries, missing the sound of the door sliding open. 

"Kuso!!" Sanosuke muttered beneath his breath, wondering what on earth to do with a crying female. He had never been good with this sort of thing. Moving to her side, he saw her slight frame trembling, the muffled sobs that made his heart feel all queasy. _You damned bastard Kenshin. You should be the one here._

Awkwardly, his hand hung in the air, wanting to do something to make her feel better, but not really knowing what. For all that he supported Kenshin and Kaoru's slow relationship, he knew it must've been frustrating for the younger girl. Females. Their heads were always filled with romantic inclinations on how things should proceed. But Kaoru… after that all she had been through really needed the reassurance. Jou-chan no baka. Didn't she realise that everything Kenshin had ever done was for her? Each word he could not bring himself to say, everything he did around the house, the tender light that shone from his eyes each time he saw her smile… the rurouni had done it all for her. For love. 

He patted her arm, noting dimly that she had frozen temporarily before revealing watery dark blue eyes at him. Then, she tightened her jaw, and those eyes had somehow dried up mysteriously. 

"What are you doing here, Sanosuke?" she demanded, voice just a bit shaky. 

"You always eat after practice, and… today… uhh…" he croaked out, scratching his head in embarrassment. 

"I already said I wasn't hungry!" she almost yelled, startling him somewhat. Her own face reflected her shock as all the anger just drained away abruptly. "Onegai, I just need some time alone."

Poor Jou-chan. Without really knowing what he was going to say, he started speaking. "When we were fighting Shisio, you were the only thing that brought him back. He wanted to keep his promise to you. Shouldn't that tell you something?"

Her eyes widened at his words, and he couldn't help the gruffness of his voice. "Datte, I… I just want to hear him say those words."

"This isn't about the rings is it, Jou-chan?" 

She flushed and turned away. He found himself caught between anger and pity. "You know, it takes more than a damned symbol for a guy to prove his love for you. He brought himself back from death just to not worry you. Every thing he ever did was for you. How can you doubt him?"

The trembling in her mouth nearly undid him, as did the tears that began pooling in her eyes. 

"It isn't that I doubt him. I believe in him, whole-heartedly. A girl still needs to hear those words. When you say something, somehow… it makes it all come true." The wistful note caught at him. "Also, he's become secretive the past few weeks. He's always gone in the mornings, didn't you notice?" 

"He doesn't want to worry you. If I ever found a woman who loves me even half as much as Kenshin loves you, I'd be the luckiest man alive. The words will come eventually. He still has his past to deal with."

"I'm so selfish…" she whispered, almost making him speechless. Damned females. Why did their thought patterns never make any sense?

"Oi, Jou-chan. Kenshin would never love a selfish woman. You're a good person. Look at how we all mooch off you and you never complain."

She looked up at him then, eyes shining in gratitude as the tiniest of smiles crossed her face. 

"I do complain, demo it never stops any of you. Arigatoo, Sanosuke. I feel much better now…" 

The strange feeling in his heart only intensified, and he found himself flustered as for a moment, he understood why Kenshin had fallen in love with her. 

"Now… I've been having these money problems…"

**********

The sound of a body thudding most painfully against a wall briefly drew Kenshin and Yahiko's attention from their meals. Yahiko snickered before devoting his energies upon the food in front of him. The other man, however, had a strangely pensive look in his eyes, wondering why Sanosuke would go to Kaoru's room in the first place, or why he hadn't beaten the other man to that task. The slightest of frowns upset his normally calm expression as he made a mental note to talk to Kaoru once the chicken head was done talking to her. Chicken head?! Where had that come from?

Turmoil began to churn within him, making him feel things he didn't like. Since his peaceful days, never had he felt such conflict or depths of emotions, not till a certain young lady entered his life anyway. He remembered the look upon her face several weeks ago when he had explained the situation about the ring. The crestfallen look made him wish he could hurt someone. Somehow it always seemed easier to hide behind that rurouni mask of his. That way, he could always protect her. 

The meal held little appeal to him at the moment, and Yahiko glanced at him curiously. He knew that whatever was bothering Kaoru had to do with him. How was it that for all that he tried to protect her from worry and harm, that it was always he who wound up hurting her? In his mind, he could call her as he always wanted to, with no honourific to push her away. Each time he had done it, he had seen the light dim a little from her brilliant eyes. How could he be as selfish as that? He thought about his recent actions, and wondered if he was right in pursuing what he had always wanted to do. He only lived for her happiness. Surely she must know that. It was that hesitancy that made him think about telling her the truth.

"Ne, Kenshin… are you worried about her?"

The younger boy's voice barely cut in through his thoughts. Truth was, whenever he thought about her, he was helpless to those eyes that sparkled like the deepest of all oceans. Recently, after the ring fiasco, he had taken to imagining what their children would look like. They would possess her beautiful eyes, her smooth skin, her boundless faith in humanity, and the ability to love. It was her who had shown him all that. She had done that the day she had asked the rurouni to stay, and paid no attention to his past as the Battousai. 

"Hai, Kaoru-dono seems upset about something." 

"I know. She didn't even try to kill me when I called her busu like she normally does." He could hear the worry in the boy's voice, and he nearly smiled to himself. Beneath all the fights and arguments, he knew that Yahiko looked upon Kaoru as both mother and older sister. 

Her ability to heal all souls amazed him at times. She had managed to save all three of them, giving them purpose in life once again, providing them with a family of unconditional love. He didn't know what he had ever done to deserve her, but he promised himself that he would spend the rest of his life trying to make her feel what she did for him. 

"Are you going to talk to her, Kenshin?" 

Could he ever hope to make her feel as one iota of what she did for him, and give back what she had done for him?

"Sessha will try de gozaru…"

His voice trailed off as he observed the object of his every waking thought walking in slowly. Her eyes not daring to meet his for some strange reason, she sat herself down while Sanosuke appeared mere moments later, rubbing his thick skull. 

"I hope there's more food left," she said softly, eyes darting everywhere else but in his direction. His own heart fell. Had Sanosuke somehow found a way to win her affections? His hands inched unconsciously towards his sakabatou, as he gave the brown-haired man the equivalent of a glare. He knew that she felt something for him, but perhaps she had grown tired of waiting. He had kept her away for so long, finding himself so unworthy of the light that was her. How could he possibly tarnish the only purity in his life? 

"Oi Kenshin, she asked you a question there. Are you planning on answering or just staring off into outer space?"

"Sumanei de gozaru. Of course there's more food for you, Kaoru-dono." The words, once uttered, were ones he wished he could take back immediately. Each time, it was as if he had physically hurt her himself. Her eyes flew up to his, unspoken pain shining from them, and how he yearned to tell her the truth. But he couldn't, not yet. Then he watched as she turned to Sanosuke, who proceeded to glare at him as he sat down heavily between them. 

A thought occurred to him without warning. Could this be Sano's way of warning him of things to come? Of how he would interrupt whatever was between them? Once, it had felt like he had all the time in the world, and he had wanted to take matters slowly. He didn't want to rush her, feeling that he was too old, and he would hold back that spark of life within her. Too late did he see that it was his very urge to protect that had caused that light to slip from her. Time became a precious commodity all of a sudden and it became essential that she knew as soon as he could tell her. 

**********

Each day that he dragged his weary body back to the dojo to complete more chores, he had noticed the change in Kaoru becoming increasingly noticeable. She had become more withdrawn, and she had been spending more time with one brown-haired chicken head. His teeth gnashing with the uncharacteristic surge of emotions, he scrubbed the laundry viciously against the washboard, wishing it were someone's head instead of mere fibers of cotton. He hadn't missed the number of times they had remained cloistered in her room, the door an ever-present barrier, warning him out, keeping him out. But he had his own reasons for not being able to tell her, and he knew full well it would upset her. Never would he have guessed that his actions would only wind up pushing her away. 

She was being unusually friendly to Sanosuke these days, bestowing those brilliant smiles he loved to see in the other man's direction. He only had himself to blame. Like everything else in his life, he had managed to destroy the only thing that mattered. 

"Errr… Ken-san, if you want to wear any more clothes, you're going to have to stop doing that."

He nearly fell into the tub at the sound of Megumi's voice, and instead settled for tumbling backwards and landing on his posterior. 

"Oro??"

She gave him a pitying look, before glancing in the direction of Kaoru's room. 

"Don't pretend. I know what you're up to, even if the tanuki is too stupid to realise it." 

His heart almost stopped beating as he just stared up at her. He could swear he saw her fox ears twitching merrily. 

"Go to her, Ken-san. You have no idea how badly you hurt her when you left for Kyoto."

Oh but he did, for it had been equally painful to leave her. Never had he felt such soul-shattering anguish, easily exceeding any amount of physical pain he had ever experienced in his life. It had taken all his will power and self-control to not turn back when he had heard her soft cries as she fell to her knees, calling out his name. He knew if he did, he would give up his duties and obligations, if only to make her happy. He never wanted his sunshine to know a moment of darkness, the same one that had plagued him all his life. 

"She wouldn't eat, nor sleep. She just lay there, crying like she had lost her heart."

_Kaoru. How I've hurt you… is this all these hands are capable of?_ He stared at them blindly, the soap bubbles clinging to his rough skin that had remained a barrier. Like his life, he could never hope to wash them clean. 

"You have to stop being noble and go to her, Ken-san. She needs you, just as you need her."

How true those words were. She was his life. And yet…

"I can't, Megumi-dono. Not yet at least…"

Making a sound of exasperation, he swore she stomped her foot like Ayame or Suzume would in a temper tantrum. 

"Kami-sama! All you men are impossible!" she fumed before doing something unexpected.

She grabbed him by his gi, and lifted him up. Kenshin found himself startled, arms flailing about madly. Odd, he would've never pegged the doctor as being such a strong woman, though she still had quite a few things to learn from Kaoru in that particular area. With the steeliest gaze he had ever seen from her, she actually shook him as she almost yelled at him.

"Ken-san! I won't have you hurting her or yourself anymore!!"

"I still can't…" he whispered weakly, needing to hang on to his secret. It was between him and Kaoru, and nobody else. 

"Kuso, Kenshin I swear…"

His purple eyes widened at her, as she flushed under his gaze and she released her death grip upon him. He landed on his feet for once and stared at her earnestly.

"I swear, I will never hurt her. Ever." 

As he turned around to rescue the remnants of his laundry, Megumi had a thoughtful look upon her face. For one brief second, his eyes had been naked, no barriers to guard whatever was on his mind. And for once, his heart had been in them, filled with love for Kaoru. She gave herself a smile of satisfaction. She knew Ken-san wouldn't let her down. 

**********

"I can't continue like this, Sano…" she whispered brokenly, her heart hanging upon her sleeve for the world to see. 

The weeks had passed by so slowly, and with each day that floated past, she felt as if she were losing Kenshin. A taut line had begun appearing upon his mouth whenever she drew near, and it felt as if someone had stabbed a knife deep within her chest. It was killing her, bit by bit. Kenshin still continued to hang on to his secret, much like he always had with any of his vows and promises, shutting her out. 

Sanosuke's strong arms came about her, and she silently thanked Megumi for allowing her to borrow him temporarily. Try as those two may, you'd have to be dead to not notice the sparks that flared together whenever they were together. 

"Gomen, Jou-chan. I… I should just pound some sense into that Kenshin," he growled in frustration. 

With her back facing the main doors of the dojo, she rested her face in his comforting presence. The sadness that plagued her soul had become unbearable as the silence between Kenshin and her grew. She wanted to know what was wrong with him. 

"Iie, you can't force something that isn't there, can you? He doesn't love me."

She felt his arms tighten around her, and his sharp intake of breath. 

"Sano… what's…"

"Jou-chan, if you could tell Kenshin anything, what would it be?" 

"I… I only want him to be free, and happy. I wish I could erase all the pain in his life, and protect him like he always has with me. I… I want to tell him… aishiteru." 

The last of her words were muffled within his gi, and Sanosuke shook his head in annoyance. Kuso, these two were being such bakas. This situation needed his touch, and though he had warned Tae about interfering, the rules didn't necessarily preclude someone like him. With a wry grin, he motioned the man standing there in shock, staring at them blindly. For one moment, it had almost looked as if Kenshin was going to kill him. He swore those purple eyes flashed golden for one brief second, as Kenshin's hand tightened around the handle of his sakabatou. 

"Teme, bakayero. What are you waiting for?! An invitation?" he mumbled beneath his breath, as he gently patted Kaoru's head awkwardly. 

Kenshin approached slowly, and Sanosuke smiled to himself. Ah, it was dangerous to have a friend like him in their lives, especially one as skilled in the areas of women as he was. 

"Oi, why don't you tell him yourself?" He moved her away from his chest, and took an instant to appreciate the look of astonishment and anger. He chuckled to himself, not before he caught the briefest blur as something hard and painful sent him flying against the walls of the dojo, which unlike the paper doors did not give. Oh the things he did for his friends, he bemoaned before crawling away to give the two lovebirds their privacy. With a grin, he clutched at his sides before taking off in the direction of a certain female doctor. 

**********

She was absolutely and totally without a doubt mortified beyond belief. Her face flamed as she tried to figure a way to explain what Kenshin had heard. She had probably stunned him into silence and he would probably flee from fright not before saying he preferred his girls more feminine than she. Her heart nearly stopped at the thought. Surely Kenshin hadn't left, and wouldn't leave her life. She didn't want to live through the pain of his departure for Kyoto all over again. 

Whirling around, she found his beloved face staring at her so tenderly she almost passed out. Her heart beating rapidly, she looked into those eyes she loved so much that were turning her insides to mush at the moment. Dare she hope that she had a chance of winning this rurouni's heart? She bit at her lip nervously, fighting to control the telltale tremor and if anything his soft smile completely unnerved her.

"Where have you been, Kenshin?" she blurted out, her eyes widening as she slapped her hand over her mouth. She couldn't believe that she had just said the very thing that had been bothering her for over a month now. 

His eyes crinkled as he took a step closer, causing her heart to pound even faster. 

"Sessha can tell you now…" he murmured, reaching into the insides of his gi and with her breath caught in her throat, she watched as he slowly pulled out a box.

"Kenshin?" she asked bewilderedly, not daring to hope for a moment that it was even what she thought it would be.

"Sessha tried to deny everything for too long, but each time I looked into your eyes, I saw how much I hurt you. Then I came to the realisation. If I was going to protect you, it would be always by your side. And though I'm unworthy of someone as wonderful as you, I promise to spend the rest of my life making you feel the way you make me."

Tears blurred her vision, obstructing her view of the tiny box with the intricate ribbon on top that he had produced in front of her. How wrong she had been. Megumi had asked her to believe in him once, and she hadn't done it successfully. Kenshin had it all wrong. 

"Iie, I'm unworthy of you. I should've known that you wouldn't… I…"

He smiled tenderly at her, his hand reaching up to gently wipe away the crystalline droplets trickling down her cheeks. 

"Open it," he encouraged. "It's not much, demo sessha hasn't had a lot of time to save up." 

With trembling hands, she reached out to open the box, the flash of the metal nearly blinding her. Gasping, her hand paused in mid-air at the exquisite dark blue stone that twinkled at her. 

"It reminded me of your eyes…"

She watched in shock, staring at him in disbelief as with a chuckle, and utmost care, he took the ring from the box. 

"It's just a symbol, and can never come close to expressing what sessha feels for you and what you've done for me."

Taking the opportunity, he returned the box back into his gi before clasping her already outstretched hand within his own. Sensation shot up her arm, the tingling singing through her nerves at his callused hand upon her skin. 

"Aishiteru, Kaoru. Sumanei de gozaru for taking so long to say it."

She began crying once again, the happiness in her soul overwhelming. She would've never dreamed that such a day was possible for someone like her. And… most of all, he had called her… Kaoru. 

"Aishiteru, Kenshin."

The answering joy in his eyes made her feel as if she would explode from all the feelings swirling about in her. He pulled her swiftly into his embrace, holding her close just as he once had before he left for Kyoto, except this time, it was a welcome into the promise of a beautiful future. Frissons of awareness blazed up her spine, causing her to shiver slightly. 

"I promise you, koishii, I will spend the rest of my life loving you."

"And I you, anata…"

As he continued crushing her against his arms, she could feel the depths of his emotions flowing to surface, and she realised something. The love had always been there for her to see, and had always been for her. Pulling away from her, his eyes sought hers, blazing with a golden hue that didn't alarm her the slightest. This was Kenshin. He would never hurt her. Ever.

His hand came up to linger lovingly upon her cheek, stroking the satiny skin with his thumb. She delighted in the sensations that spread through her and his eyes appeared to be asking her something. She flushed with a secret thrill as she nodded her head mutely, unable to take her eyes from his. His hand tightened around her waist possessively as the other moved towards her chin, tilting it forward. Slowly, she watched as his face came closer, eyes fluttering as the barest of breaths hit her lips before being covered completely. Her knees buckled completely, never feeling the heated blood rush through her veins this way. Her hands slid up his chest to wrap themselves around his neck. With innocence and with all of her heart, she kissed him back, pressing herself close. She was lost to the storm of emotions that he wrought in her, both forgetting that they were in the middle of an extremely passionate kiss, in the middle of the dojo, in the middle of broad daylight. Her lungs were burning, and she pulled away to suck in precious breaths of oxygen, the red in her face nearly rivaling the shade of Kenshin's hair. 

He seemed equally out of breath and embarrassed though no regret shone from his eyes. Pressing his forehead against hers, he held her loosely, hands rubbing slowly on her waist. 

"Kenshin, is it always like that when two people kiss?"

Giving her the most loving smile, he shook his head.

"Only with you, koishii. Only with you."

Her heart burst forth in sprinkles of happiness, the sunshine of her smile taking his breath away. 

"You promise?"

"Always."

**********

Tenshi's blurb: I know I have this habit of one word titles, but ask Angel-chan, when I try to go for more words, it's just ROTTEN. *giggles*


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